Anne Smith :: Blog for April 2011
Happy Tax Day. If you’re reading this, I’m just curious to know if you will be standing in the long line at the post office to mail your tax return. I used to do that, until I found an amazing accountant who inspires me to submit my forms asap. I’m not divulging his name, simply because I never want him to become too busy to help me! I call him “Rainman” in recognition of his gift with numbers. I have promised him that one day I will be rich and famous so that he won’t have to be depressed and try to make jokes every year when he looks at my income.
Lots of activity going on in my life. Sometimes I feel as if I have spun this giant and intricate web, with hundreds of filaments trailing out from my center, each filament attached to an obligation-a student who is having a problem, my lecture notes, a recording session, a musician, friends with a new baby, friends I love but can’t find time to see; a rehearsal, the dog, my relationship with Marc, my family, whom I need to see more of; the elderly man I see on the block every day; the meal I need to make, the household chores that require doing; the songs and poems that insist on coming; the filaments are barely hanging together the pieces of my rapidly changing world: Marc and I are selling his place and planning to rent for a year in Florida; I am trying to complete my CD; I need to find a way to wind down my teaching schedule and say goodbye to so many many wonderful parents and children I have been involved with since moving here in October of ’99.
And where am I, in the web? I am the Itsy Bitsy Spider, spinning out of control! My legs keep feeling the vibrations of every single filament, and as I race from one point of contact to another, I realize that I don’t have enough legs to keep up.
The spider web may collapse and trap me. I will starve in the very structure that I created in order to live.
In the process of selling the apartment, Marc has engaged the services of a “Stager”…whose purpose it is to create a beautiful illusion of the space you live in. This is accomplished by packing up or donating nearly all of your personal affects and leaving behind only enough to wear for a few weeks. Furniture, clothing, books, treasures, all that you will keep, is sent to storage. The Stager oversees the temporary redecoration of the apartment , arranging new colors to paint walls in the bedroom and kitchen, drapery, area rugs, light fixtures and rental furniture that will transform the space and entice potential buyers. Of course, it would be easy to dislike a person who throws your life into such upheaval, but I’ve made peace with Debbie. Somehow it feels good to clear out the cobwebs and get rid of things. It feels right to look forward to a sunny and warm winter in Florida, even if it’s just for one year…nothing is ever permanent, you can’t hold on to ideas and things forever, if it doesn’t serve you, or worse, is overwhelming you.
The Itsy Bitsy Spider will survive….and be thankful that the Rainman didn’t wash her out!
Until Next Time-